Sunday, March 25, 2007

Commentary on Crying

I used to scoff at the idea of crying. As with many people today, I felt that crying was a sign of weakness; in certain situations crying even offended me. I held this standard for men and women; especially today's independant woman; one whom of which I considered myself to be. Crying over a relationship; even worse. Secretly, I judged people who cried and dismissed them as needing to get a grip.

Harsh perspective indeed. I didn't know it then, but I was so disconnected from love.
It was my mental reasoning that crying would show the world that I wasn't tough; and I needed to be perceived as tough so that could show the world that I did not need love. I was ailing, angry and self-destructive. Let me add unforgiving and judgemental. The building of this protective shield was all that I needed to ensure that I would never experience anything good.

This may not be the case for you, but in retrospect, my inability to cry (or want to cry) was a response to childhood abandonement and rejection. No, I wasn't dropped off in a paper bag on anyone's doorstep. I grew up in a home where I've never seen my single mother cry. We struggled daily as a family on all levels, but somehow my mother's inability to connect with her emotions injected and shaped who I became: a woman who could only count on her perceived toughness to survive.

Crying is the emotional release of the daily wear and tear of living and it is one of the most amazing gifts we can give to ourselves in terms of self- healing. When you cry you declare to the body, mind and spirit that you have the right to release what is being held inside. You are acknowleging to your spirit that you have the right to feel good and that you are being obedient to your heart by self-cleansing it so that it can function properly.

Now. Whenever I feel sad, or joyous or feel any emotion that makes me overflow with love; I release it. And I release it as often as my spirit will allow. This is not blubbering, sobbing, desperation, or wanting sympathy; its simply not about "the act" of crying. It's about the release of negative emotions that prevent us from keeping in tune with what is going on inside of us. Think: emotional sound check.

This might sound corny but think of how brightly the sun shines after stormy weather. The tears that we shed are preparation for the gratitude of life's goodness. We need the rainy days to appreciate the sunny ones. Crying is not a sign of weakness; it is having the willingness to let go of past hurts. Those past hurts could have been eons ago or five minutes ago. Crying makes you feel five years younger, keeps your spirits fresh and revived, and keeps the mechanism known as your heart pulsating with love and forgiveness.

The release of your tears removes blockage. And with less blockage the path to living blissfully becomes easier.

Monday, March 19, 2007

The New Spring Cleaning

It's Spring again, but what will you do differently this time around?

We all have experienced the untidy, unkempted and cluttered house. But have you ever visited a friend's house that literally sucked the life right out of you? Where the wall and the hairballs in the corner closed in on you? Or sometimes its the opposite. Everything is picture-perfect to the point of nuerosis. The place is lifeless, dull and void of any feeling or personality. If you've never had that feeling, more than likely that house is yours. It is a result of living unconsciously and living inauthentically; a form of sleep walking with your eyes wide shut.

Many of us view our homes as a place to sleep, take a dump in, and keep a roof over our heads. But are homes are much bigger than its physical representation; our homes are our sacred space. It's all about the energy, broken down into either a good feeling or a bad feeling. What feeling does your home give you? Does your home weigh you down, sapps and zapps your energy, and otherwise doesn't make you feel good?

At the Bliss Blogs one thing we know for sure is that our homes are a testament to our life philosophy. It answers the questions: How do I see and feel myself living? What do I deserve to surround myself with? What do I want to feel when I step into my personal arena? Does my home authenticate the real me or does is dishonour me?

Yes. It's that deep. Your home can be your gift or your curse. But to the rescue is The New Spring Cleaning. One that addresses the concerns of your home with the life changing vision of finding and/or rediscovering your bliss. This type of spring cleaning is life-affirming because it puts you into alignment with what feels good for you and allows you to step into the light of your truth.

The New Spring Cleaning Philosophy:
  • This is the number one guiding principle. Use it as your guide to create the home and consequently the life you want: If if does not add to value to your life, make you feel good about your life direction, or affirm who you want to be-get rid of it.

For books I suggest author Donna Smallin. Her books hit home for those of us who need to get it together but don't know where or how to begin.

And as always remain open and start small. Your journey to your best you does not happen overnight.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Your Breath

Commentary on meditation.
As I mentioned in the last blog, I was a complete skeptic on the idea of sitting still. What for and why when there's cleaning, shopping, TV, reading, cooking, exercise, hanging with friends, a job, my man and homework to do. My to-do list of life keep me nice and busy away from my spirit. I simply believed that if I sat still for a moment that I would be wasting precious time on something that I believed could not provide tangible results.

I always like to say that I believed in God, but at the time I couldn't see how narrowing my life perspective was. I had very limiting ideas on the power of the divine. Like many people I believed that God simply worked out for lucky individuals and then there were people like me whose number he missed. At the heart of my core belief and my self-proclamied "busyness" was that I was unblessed and unchosen. And complaining about my life was just easier. If I surrendered control of my very essence; my breath, then I could no longer participate in my own victimization. And that was downright scary. So even as I read self-help books and became inspired to change, I couldn't bring myself to meditate. The idea of it just felt downright silly.

I wanted to be released from the mental and emotional prison I had created for myself. So when no one was looking I decided to take a chance and try something new. And at first, I was right, it felt silly as all get out. But I figured if so many spiritual guru's from all walks of life say that meditation works then I would just have to be patient. It would be one of the first times I've ever surrendered my ego.

I now preach the gospel of quiet time. Meditation is all about clearing out the mental chatter, and making the connection to the true you. It's about eradicating negative thought patterns and replacing them with love. It's the self-actualization that you are not your pain, your past, or the wrong doings that have been done to you. Meditation also keeps you present so that you can think less about your past and more about the glorious gift that is called your life. Yes! Getting still can do all of this for you and more.

There are many ways in which you can get still, but start small and start with whatever feels right. You can take a class, read a book, or buy a meditation CD. My only suggestion is that you make a decision from this day forward to incorporate some form of meditation into your life daily. I guarantee that you will love your life more.

M.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Transform Your Anger and Ordinary Thinking.

I will be the first to tell you that the word "meditation" was a word that I simply resisted. What came to mind for me was "a waste of valuable time", "what for?", "I can't do that", "How's that going to help me?", " Will it make my problems go away?", "Will it bring me money?" and of course continuous loads of cynicism: "If meditation is so great (oh swami!) then why do we still experience poverty, death, misery and sickness?"

More importantly, meditation sounded like more of the same of so called spiritual hocus pocus that I simply believed was a ploy to help me forget how hard I had to work to get the things that I wanted out of life. I judged meditation as another distraction and another mental tool to help me forget how unlucky I believed I was. I mean...why should I breathe and make a connection to an energy that has failed me, angered me, abandoned me. I in essence, was very angry with my source.

But when you change; the things you look at change. I couldn't see at the time how angry I was. In my mind, anger meant some kind of unruly vigilante. A person who wrecks havoc and causes hell, wrath and fury. Surely that wasn't me. But my, how clever the ego is! My anger was more in alignment with self-loathing, negative self-chatter, and the belief that I simply was not good enough. I had the "woe is me" journals. I've read tons of self-help books that I actually ended up resenting because I believed they all said the same thing. I was so identified with my ego and negative thinking that I couldn't get past my ordinary thinking. At the time, my world was the physical surroundings of my apartment, my education, my body, my hair, my clothes, and my perceived failures. I wanted to be in control because my ego told me that I could not rely on God.

But there's something about surrendering that's so powerful. When you choose to open the inner door to the world of spiritual connection; surrendering is the do good force to feeling on purpose and feeling good. You surrender when realize that everything that you've tried to force fit, or forcefully make happen, simply does not lead to personal happiness. When you surrender, you are ready to trust in the idea of something bigger than yourself.

Often throughout this blog I have recommend that you remain open. Many of you have responded with "How?" "How do I let go?" or "something will go terribly wrong for me if I relinquish control!" Aha! This is where your trust and your faith are best put to use. You simply cannot intellectualize forgiveness, surrender, faith, or trust. They are not college subjects in which you earn a grade. You have to feel surrender. You have to feel forgiveness. You have to feel trust. How do you create the feeling? By aligning your thoughts with positive affirmations, prayer, and by understanding the power of intention and meditation.

In the next blog I will discuss how meditation is a vital part of sustaining your connection to your spirit. The breath is one of the most amazing gifts that the universe has given us to connect us to unlimited power. Meditation transforms your ordinary thinking.