Going Along to Get Along...

Now the reason why I know these emotions so well is because I lived them for the better part of my life. I was raised in a poor, black (dark-skinned), dysfunctional, with an angry as all hell non-communicative single parent. I envied and resented light-skinned women, two parent homes, flat tummies, the rich, people who appeared to have more than me, models, and everything that the trifecta of cable, magazine, and movies (along with poor parenting skills) can serve up to create some really pitiful low self-esteem.

It held me back. For a long time. And I for the life of me couldn't figure out why I was so stuck in this cycle of negative thinking. I didn't realize that I went along with the game plan of feeling inferior and unworthy.

Some suggestions....

Resentment is the stuff that wildly successful gossip blogs, tabloid rags, and the Joan Rivers and Wendy William's of the world are made of. It's wanting to see the rich and famous tumble down to the cold cold world of struggle and strife.

Now the reason why I know these emotions so well is because I lived them for the better part of my life. I was raised in a poor, black (dark-skinned), dysfunctional, with an angry as all hell non-communicative single parent. I envied and resented light-skinned women, two parent homes, flat tummies, the rich, people who appeared to have more than me, models, and everything that the trifecta of cable, magazine, and movies (along with poor parenting skills) can serve up to create some really pitiful low self-esteem.

It held me back. For a long time. And I for the life of me couldn't figure out why I was so stuck in this cycle of negative thinking. I didn't realize that I went along with the game plan of feeling inferior and unworthy. I cosigned my life on a bad check; I believed the hype.

So you're probably wondering: " How do I get out of this emotional tug of war? How can I get my thinking out of the status quo? When I'm feeling envious or resentful these are the words of wisdom that I use to return to myself:

• Whatever it is that you want; create a plan of action. Make adjustments but stick to your plan.
  
• Tell yourself that you're worthy of all of the good things that life has to offer and believe that you can have it.
  
• Stop comparing and measuring yourself to society's standards. You'll never measure up if you use society as a measuring stick. Instead create your own measuring stick of success.
• If you find that people are indeed happy; be happy for them. Use their happiness as inspiration for your own life. It doesn't help you or your karma by being envious.
• If you can, limit or elimate television; it's a time and dream killer and encourages you to live passively. We all want to be entertained from time to time, but investing countless hours in watching someone else live out their dreams simply doesn't make sense to me. Is that the kind of life you want?

That thing called resentment....

There's envy, there's jealousy, and then there's resentment. And they all ask the questions: "How do I measure up?" and "Am I worthy?"

Envy is the fixation on what someone else has and deeming it better than. Envy is the result of habitual comparative thinking.

Jealousy is the act of being in a "envious state" and is a one two punch of envy and insecurity. Jealousy is connected with poor self worth and can be combined with revenge, vindictiveness and malice.

Resentment is the belief that you are unlucky in life and that others have it easier. Resentment is a perpetual belief system that builds and gains momentum over a significant period of time and is a dangerous emotional cocktail of anger, envy, jealousy, petty thinking, feelings of being inferior, frustration, and bitterness.

Older but not wiser....

Let's face it...you can't stop father time and we all have to grow old. But for some reason we all think getting older only happens to "older people."

Well growing older happens to everyone every minute of the day because time waits for no one. No one's exempt; not even Dick Clark! And with the passage of time should come wisdom, maturity and expansion. We fret because we wish we knew what we know now at eighteen. Many of us have a challenging time simply learning from our mistakes and moving forward. Moving forward just like time. Instead we self-punish and box ourselves into the smallest of cubes. We say things like "one day" and "someday" not realizing that time is passing by the very moment we repeat those dead end words.

Live today! Be in the now and live for the present! Chase your happiness because it will not fall into your lap. We will not all die at the age of 98 peacefully in our sleep with our Social Security checks clutched to our hands! That's not living or happiness that 's called fear.