Introspective Reality Check....

The short and sweet of this blog is to offer a perspective on how we can keep our bright lights of this gift called life shining as brightly as possible. So yes this blog will cover, introspection, life journey, judgement, insecurity, inferiority and all of those emotional triggers that keep our feeted planted in cement. Sistas....I know you can relate... There's nothing sweeter in life than living in truth.

Going Along to Get Along...

Now the reason why I know these emotions so well is because I lived them for the better part of my life. I was raised in a poor, black (dark-skinned), dysfunctional, with an angry as all hell non-communicative single parent. I envied and resented light-skinned women, two parent homes, flat tummies, the rich, people who appeared to have more than me, models, and everything that the trifecta of cable, magazine, and movies (along with poor parenting skills) can serve up to create some really pitiful low self-esteem.

It held me back. For a long time. And I for the life of me couldn't figure out why I was so stuck in this cycle of negative thinking. I didn't realize that I went along with the game plan of feeling inferior and unworthy.

Some suggestions....

Resentment is the stuff that wildly successful gossip blogs, tabloid rags, and the Joan Rivers and Wendy William's of the world are made of. It's wanting to see the rich and famous tumble down to the cold cold world of struggle and strife.

Now the reason why I know these emotions so well is because I lived them for the better part of my life. I was raised in a poor, black (dark-skinned), dysfunctional, with an angry as all hell non-communicative single parent. I envied and resented light-skinned women, two parent homes, flat tummies, the rich, people who appeared to have more than me, models, and everything that the trifecta of cable, magazine, and movies (along with poor parenting skills) can serve up to create some really pitiful low self-esteem.

It held me back. For a long time. And I for the life of me couldn't figure out why I was so stuck in this cycle of negative thinking. I didn't realize that I went along with the game plan of feeling inferior and unworthy. I cosigned my life on a bad check; I believed the hype.

So you're probably wondering: " How do I get out of this emotional tug of war? How can I get my thinking out of the status quo? When I'm feeling envious or resentful these are the words of wisdom that I use to return to myself:

• Whatever it is that you want; create a plan of action. Make adjustments but stick to your plan.
  
• Tell yourself that you're worthy of all of the good things that life has to offer and believe that you can have it.
  
• Stop comparing and measuring yourself to society's standards. You'll never measure up if you use society as a measuring stick. Instead create your own measuring stick of success.
• If you find that people are indeed happy; be happy for them. Use their happiness as inspiration for your own life. It doesn't help you or your karma by being envious.
• If you can, limit or elimate television; it's a time and dream killer and encourages you to live passively. We all want to be entertained from time to time, but investing countless hours in watching someone else live out their dreams simply doesn't make sense to me. Is that the kind of life you want?

That thing called resentment....

There's envy, there's jealousy, and then there's resentment. And they all ask the questions: "How do I measure up?" and "Am I worthy?"

Envy is the fixation on what someone else has and deeming it better than. Envy is the result of habitual comparative thinking.

Jealousy is the act of being in a "envious state" and is a one two punch of envy and insecurity. Jealousy is connected with poor self worth and can be combined with revenge, vindictiveness and malice.

Resentment is the belief that you are unlucky in life and that others have it easier. Resentment is a perpetual belief system that builds and gains momentum over a significant period of time and is a dangerous emotional cocktail of anger, envy, jealousy, petty thinking, feelings of being inferior, frustration, and bitterness.

Older but not wiser....

Let's face it...you can't stop father time and we all have to grow old. But for some reason we all think getting older only happens to "older people."

Well growing older happens to everyone every minute of the day because time waits for no one. No one's exempt; not even Dick Clark! And with the passage of time should come wisdom, maturity and expansion. We fret because we wish we knew what we know now at eighteen. Many of us have a challenging time simply learning from our mistakes and moving forward. Moving forward just like time. Instead we self-punish and box ourselves into the smallest of cubes. We say things like "one day" and "someday" not realizing that time is passing by the very moment we repeat those dead end words.

Live today! Be in the now and live for the present! Chase your happiness because it will not fall into your lap. We will not all die at the age of 98 peacefully in our sleep with our Social Security checks clutched to our hands! That's not living or happiness that 's called fear.

A minute

For now on my posts will be short and sweet. As a new blogger I realized that I came out blazing with spiritual thought a little too heavy handed. Understandably so; because it's my passion. But I also understand that living life from a spiritual frame can be a confusing, intimidating transition. It's even much more difficult to actually committ to this transition. Most of us want to know...what's in it for us...? Or we wait for a calamity to happen to crawl on our hands and knees and beg our source to take the pain away. Then we get angry because it seems that quick fix prayer doesn't work.

So from now on I will offer tidbits on how to slowly but surely create a life that can be experienced from a spiritual lens without seeming so "holy roller",unreachable or intangible.

The goal is to live a full life. And connecting to your source on the continuum will be the only way to ensure the peace of mind, the living present, the living joyfully, and the living abundantly all human beings desire.

The food for thought I give you today is to ask yourself "Am I present?"

M.

The Power of Perception.

At the Bliss Blogs we are about to open a can of worms on perspective and perception. It will sound a little crazy; but once you understand the power of your perception, you will be completely free to believe in all of your possibilities.

How far back can you remember? At the age of two, five or later? How about six months old? How about yesterday? Whatever you think your earliest beginning's are is not who you are. Who you are is not who you think you are if you define yourself in terms of your experiences. But the rub is that you are what you think you are. So if you think you're dumb then that's what you'll experience. If you think you're amazing then that's what you'll experience. If you believe that you are T and A then you will experience the world in very sexual terms.

That is the power of perception.

The power of perception rests on the idea that what you think is real isn't really real, but you're perceived reality. It's like when two people have very different ideas on beauty standards; neither perspective is better than the other because it's all about perception. This is the way life works. You're life will manifest itself according to your perspective and your perception.

Having perspective and perception are an intricate part of self-awareness. It is these very two ideas that can make or break your human experience. Often we think and consequently believe that who we are is a combination of the experiences that we've encountered in our past. We define ourselves by our family income, hereditary features, physical and emotional abuse, our communities, our churches, but the essential truth is that is not who you are.

We'll you make be asking yourself: "Well who the hell am I?" The Bliss Blogs will give you the short and the long. The short: You are truth and light. The long: whatever magnificent list of adjectives you can use to describe yourself.

Who you are is not where you've been. You are not your past; you are your possibilities. Think about that statement. You are your possibilities. It means that you have the power to create in the now whatever you hope to experience in the future. Many of us make the mistake of defining ourselves by our limiting, debilitating experiences from the past. What we end up doing is repeating more of the same in the future because we continually define ourselves from the old mental mix tapes.

The solution is to live in the now and to forgive. The past can be used as your tool for valuable life lessons; not a tool for self-defining truth. Nix all blame-shifting and whoa is me, and put into practice removing all labels you've attached to yourself: fat, dumb, skinny, lazy, crazy, stupid, useless, and worthless. You are love in motion, and you're life will be unbelievable once you realize this essential truth.

Commentary on Crying

I used to scoff at the idea of crying. As with many people today, I felt that crying was a sign of weakness; in certain situations crying even offended me. I held this standard for men and women; especially today's independant woman; one whom of which I considered myself to be. Crying over a relationship; even worse. Secretly, I judged people who cried and dismissed them as needing to get a grip.

Harsh perspective indeed. I didn't know it then, but I was so disconnected from love. It was my mental reasoning that crying would show the world that I wasn't tough; and I needed to be perceived as tough so that could show the world that I did not need love. I was ailing, angry and self-destructive. Let me add unforgiving and judgemental. The building of this protective shield was all that I needed to ensure that I would never experience anything good.

This may not be the case for you, but in retrospect, my inability to cry (or want to cry) was a response to childhood abandonement and rejection. No, I wasn't dropped off in a paper bag on anyone's doorstep. I grew up in a home where I've never seen my single mother cry. We struggled daily as a family on all levels, but somehow my mother's inability to connect with her emotions injected and shaped who I became: a woman who could only count on her perceived toughness to survive.

Crying is the emotional release of the daily wear and tear of living and it is one of the most amazing gifts we can give to ourselves in terms of self- healing. When you cry you declare to the body, mind and spirit that you have the right to release what is being held inside. You are acknowleging to your spirit that you have the right to feel good and that you are being obedient to your heart by self-cleansing it so that it can function properly.

Now. Whenever I feel sad, or joyous or feel any emotion that makes me overflow with love; I release it. And I release it as often as my spirit will allow. This is not blubbering, sobbing, desperation, or wanting sympathy; its simply not about "the act" of crying. It's about the release of negative emotions that prevent us from keeping in tune with what is going on inside of us. Think: emotional sound check.

This might sound corny but think of how brightly the sun shines after stormy weather. The tears that we shed are preparation for the gratitude of life's goodness. We need the rainy days to appreciate the sunny ones. Crying is not a sign of weakness; it is having the willingness to let go of past hurts. Those past hurts could have been eons ago or five minutes ago. Crying makes you feel five years younger, keeps your spirits fresh and revived, and keeps the mechanism known as your heart pulsating with love and forgiveness.

The release of your tears removes blockage. And with less blockage the path to living blissfully becomes easier.

The New Spring Cleaning

It's Spring again, but what will you do differently this time around?

We all have experienced the untidy, unkempted and cluttered house. But have you ever visited a friend's house that literally sucked the life right out of you? Where the wall and the hairballs in the corner closed in on you? Or sometimes its the opposite. Everything is picture-perfect to the point of nuerosis. The place is lifeless, dull and void of any feeling or personality. If you've never had that feeling, more than likely that house is yours. It is a result of living unconsciously and living inauthentically; a form of sleep walking with your eyes wide shut.

Many of us view our homes as a place to sleep, take a dump in, and keep a roof over our heads. But are homes are much bigger than its physical representation; our homes are our sacred space. It's all about the energy, broken down into either a good feeling or a bad feeling. What feeling does your home give you? Does your home weigh you down, sapps and zapps your energy, and otherwise doesn't make you feel good?

At the Bliss Blogs one thing we know for sure is that our homes are a testament to our life philosophy. It answers the questions: How do I see and feel myself living? What do I deserve to surround myself with? What do I want to feel when I step into my personal arena? Does my home authenticate the real me or does is dishonour me?

Yes. It's that deep. Your home can be your gift or your curse. But to the rescue is The New Spring Cleaning. One that addresses the concerns of your home with the life changing vision of finding and/or rediscovering your bliss. This type of spring cleaning is life-affirming because it puts you into alignment with what feels good for you and allows you to step into the light of your truth.

The New Spring Cleaning Philosophy:

• This is the number one guiding principle. Use it as your guide to create the home and consequently the life you want: If if does not add to value to your life, make you feel good about your life direction, or affirm who you want to be-get rid of it.

For books I suggest author Donna Smallin. Her books hit home for those of us who need to get it together but don't know where or how to begin.

And as always remain open and start small. Your journey to your best you does not happen overnight.

Your Breath

Commentary on meditation.

As I mentioned in the last blog, I was a complete skeptic on the idea of sitting still. What for and why when there's cleaning, shopping, TV, reading, cooking, exercise, hanging with friends, a job, my man and homework to do. My to-do list of life keep me nice and busy away from my spirit. I simply believed that if I sat still for a moment that I would be wasting precious time on something that I believed could not provide tangible results.

I always like to say that I believed in God, but at the time I couldn't see how narrowing my life perspective was. I had very limiting ideas on the power of the divine. Like many people I believed that God simply worked out for lucky individuals and then there were people like me whose number he missed. At the heart of my core belief and my self-proclamied "busyness" was that I was unblessed and unchosen. And complaining about my life was just easier. If I surrendered control of my very essence; my breath, then I could no longer participate in my own victimization. And that was downright scary. So even as I read self-help books and became inspired to change, I couldn't bring myself to meditate. The idea of it just felt downright silly.

I wanted to be released from the mental and emotional prison I had created for myself. So when no one was looking I decided to take a chance and try something new. And at first, I was right, it felt silly as all get out. But I figured if so many spiritual guru's from all walks of life say that meditation works then I would just have to be patient. It would be one of the first times I've ever surrendered my ego.

I now preach the gospel of quiet time. Meditation is all about clearing out the mental chatter, and making the connection to the true you. It's about eradicating negative thought patterns and replacing them with love. It's the self-actualization that you are not your pain, your past, or the wrong doings that have been done to you. Meditation also keeps you present so that you can think less about your past and more about the glorious gift that is called your life. Yes! Getting still can do all of this for you and more.

There are many ways in which you can get still, but start small and start with whatever feels right. You can take a class, read a book, or buy a meditation CD. My only suggestion is that you make a decision from this day forward to incorporate some form of meditation into your life daily. I guarantee that you will love your life more.

M.

Transform Your Anger and Ordinary Thinking.

I will be the first to tell you that the word "meditation" was a word that I simply resisted. What came to mind for me was "a waste of valuable time", "what for?", "I can't do that", "How's that going to help me?", " Will it make my problems go away?", "Will it bring me money?" and of course continuous loads of cynicism: "If meditation is so great (oh swami!) then why do we still experience poverty, death, misery and sickness?"

More importantly, meditation sounded like more of the same of so called spiritual hocus pocus that I simply believed was a ploy to help me forget how hard I had to work to get the things that I wanted out of life. I judged meditation as another distraction and another mental tool to help me forget how unlucky I believed I was. I mean...why should I breathe and make a connection to an energy that has failed me, angered me, abandoned me. I in essence, was very angry with my source.

But when you change; the things you look at change. I couldn't see at the time how angry I was. In my mind, anger meant some kind of unruly vigilante. A person who wrecks havoc and causes hell, wrath and fury. Surely that wasn't me. But my, how clever the ego is! My anger was more in alignment with self-loathing, negative self-chatter, and the belief that I simply was not good enough. I had the "woe is me" journals. I've read tons of self-help books that I actually ended up resenting because I believed they all said the same thing. I was so identified with my ego and negative thinking that I couldn't get past my ordinary thinking. At the time, my world was the physical surroundings of my apartment, my education, my body, my hair, my clothes, and my perceived failures. I wanted to be in control because my ego told me that I could not rely on God.

But there's something about surrendering that's so powerful. When you choose to open the inner door to the world of spiritual connection; surrendering is the do good force to feeling on purpose and feeling good. You surrender when realize that everything that you've tried to force fit, or forcefully make happen, simply does not lead to personal happiness. When you surrender, you are ready to trust in the idea of something bigger than yourself.

Often throughout this blog I have recommend that you remain open. Many of you have responded with "How?" "How do I let go?" or "something will go terribly wrong for me if I relinquish control!" Aha! This is where your trust and your faith are best put to use. You simply cannot intellectualize forgiveness, surrender, faith, or trust. They are not college subjects in which you earn a grade. You have to feel surrender. You have to feel forgiveness. You have to feel trust. How do you create the feeling? By aligning your thoughts with positive affirmations, prayer, and by understanding the power of intention and meditation.

In the next blog I will discuss how meditation is a vital part of sustaining your connection to your spirit. The breath is one of the most amazing gifts that the universe has given us to connect us to unlimited power. Meditation transforms your ordinary thinking.

Giving Your Past Your Power

When we make the decision to heal often times we backtrack, have breakdowns, emphatically state that it's too hard, become depressed, and create confusion. Most people would rather remain frozen because the pain of our emotion is simply unbearable. We believe we don't have the tools we need to grow beyond our circumstances. Besides, in revealing the truth to yourself will feel like your are some sort of glutton for punishment. You will ask yourself: Why bother?

The Great Iyanla Vanzant as well as many other spiritual teachers will testify that you are not being punished, you are being fortified. You are being strengthened in ways that the creator knows you can handle. If you have been inspired to heal, it is because the universe wants it for you.

When I first began the process of truth, I must tell you that it has been and continues to be some of the most challenging work I've ever done. There were times when I'd rather lick a subway pole than to keep digging inside of the deepest part of me. When truth was revealed I would become the hottest mess of "Whoa is me", celebrating in the thousands of pity parties that I would have for myself. I repeated, analyzed, journalized, criticized, and picked apart my past in attempts to fix or possibly even cure.

I suspect that many of us bury and hide our pain, because somehow we feel that if our past were different our lives would be better off. I couldn't see how revealing the truth to myself and feeling bad about it was helping me. I continued to ask the universe for guidance for my self-imposed confusion. By digging up my past, I was hoping that I would somehow have the power to confront it, change it; mend it, bring it up to speed.

I simply wanted my past to be different. I wanted to have better parents and a financially well off and emotionally loving and supportive family. And I was pissed that I didn't have it. Using the measuring stick of other's lives I felt that this was what I needed and that I was let down by life. I even had a friend who would always say: " You can't just shake that shit off and move on!". It supported my belief that I deserved to remain in emotional pain. This belief was recycled by my heart over and over again, but instead of staying in the past of where I thought it was, I was perpetuating more of it in my future. I continued to experience more of the same in the now.

Well beware of the power of the ego! The ego will try it's best to keep your spirit and brain locked into the vestiges of your past. But the universe knows the real truth about you. The truth is that you are where you are supposed to be right now. The Universe knows that you have the power to create in the now! It is called the gift of free will! I heard Oprah profoundly state: "When you get over the hope that your past could've been different then you know are on your way."

Eureka! Give up the hope! Create the life that you want for yourself now! Starting right now! Your past is simply that, your past. If you continue to let it imprison you, you will continue to create more of the same in your present and your future. Change how you feel about your past. Lovingly acknowledge it, forgive it and move forward.

You have the power of now on your side.

M.

The Red Love Day

I don't think you'll be surprised to discover that at the Bliss Blogs we are not so big on strategically marketed, commercialized love. First off, there are way too many pseudo romantic, and ultimately corny expectations for Valentine's day. With conditioning, many of us get caught up in the hype of the red love day. Not that love, romance, roses, chocolate, and heartfelt expressions aren't delicious. The Bliss Blogs would be absolutely moronic in saying that gifts aren't the icing on your Red Velvet Cake.

However, what's up for discussion is not the concept of Valentine's day but the knowing of love and its tremendous power. It's power to transform, cure, expand, rejoice, sizzle, and to totally fix what's broken. Yes! Love is the cure all for whatever is ailing you in your life; not the pull of your emotional purse strings. Honestly, this is the kind of love that can't possibly be honored in the time capsule of February the 14th. This kind of love is timeless and universal and it all begins with you.

Do you know love? This love is not a narcisstic, all-about-me, and I'd better get type of love. This is the type of love where you blissfully enjoy your own company while in a relationship. Where if your'e not in a relationship you know that "Mr. Right for you" is on his way. Where you get lost in the passion of your own creativity of writing, cooking, performing, singing, dancing, healing, painting, or the many endless expression's of Divinely given talent. It's when you know that you have the power of the universe replicated inside of your heart.

Connecting with you bliss is key in loving your fabulousness. And simply put, loving begins with you. There's no other way around it. The sooner you connect with this truth the happier you will be on the red day of love and forward. The Love that I'm talking about here is a passion in being alive, in feeling worthy and in loving your imperfections. This love loses grudges and honors forgiveness. This love is eternal, alive, burning, and it's kicking like a mule to get you to honor it.

Your love is more about an attitude adjustment and a commitment to internal growth. All forms of media will tell you to buy yourself flowers, or marry yourself, or to take yourself out to dinner alone. Esoteric, but it doesn't quite scratch the surface. You've got to get messy and deep down to what's real for you. It's about growing into the feeling of your inherit worthiness. I guarantee you that this love will fill you up in ways that you've never imagined.

Loving yourself begins with truth and forgiveness. Forgiveness of yourself and others. Committ to telling yourself the truth at all times and you will forever be connected to love.

Now eat the dern Red Velvet Cake.

M.

Giving It Away.

I don't think that I'm unique when I tell you that I grew up in a family who's primary Modus Operandi was dysfunction. We operated under the family rules of "Don't Talk", "Don't Feel", and "Don't think for Yourself." I simply was taught that it was not ok to "shine." As a result, I was a shrunken kid who grew into a shrunken adult whose primary goal was to not be seen or heard. I gave pieces of myself away, that I can never get back.

• At fifteen I gave away my virginity. I gave it away because I was tired of saying no. It would not be the last time I had sex with a man simply because he wanted it.
• When I would earn a good grade, I would say "Wow, Professor M. gave me a good grade! Never mind the fact that I worked hard to earn the grade.
• I've been in relationships where I didn't receive gifts or flowers. I accepted this because I didn't want to scare them away.
• A certain girlfriend of mine who loved the high life, would always have an excuse as to why she never had money for the high life. I almost always paid her way, because I wanted her company.
• I've been in countless other situations where I have been afraid to use my voice in fear of ridicule or of losing friends.

How many times do we give our good stuff away in the name of devaluation? How many times do we shrink ourselves and our voices in the name of playing nice and not stepping on any one's toes? Every time we give a piece of ourselves away we small our lives and we small our expectations of our selves. The worst part of it is that shiftless people can sniff you out like a shark that smells a drop of blood. They will poke, prod, use and abuse as long as you allow.

It is never ok to be voiceless. So do yourself and favor and stop giving you away. Know and make no excuses for what you want. I'm talking about what you want; not what society wants. (Often we get the two confused) Know that you are already worthy. That you are already whole. That you are already unique; made in the reflection of the Divine's love.

Empower yourself today in re-discovering your bliss, so you that can stop giving it away.

M.

All People aren't Ready At the Same Time...

There was a time in my life when I was so afraid of change. Not because I didn't want it, but because I was afraid of leaving others behind. I didn't want to admit that I knew I had the power to create the life that I wanted; I felt as if making that choice would be betraying my friends and loved ones. I simply did not want others to think that I thought I was that I was better, more favored, or more blessed. As a result my journey towards inner bliss had many false starts.

At the Bliss Blogs we know for sure that you could hand a Bible, Koran, the Universe, a Cross, and deliver Jesus himself to the door step of pessimistic people and they will stlll create a reason to live fantastically miserable in their own unhappiness. At the Bliss Blogs we know for sure that all of humankind comes from the same source. We also know that yes! People do not always present themselves as representatives of that very same source. The true fact is that most of humanity has been conditioned to use their egos to find satisfaction out of life. The perpetual problem is that with the ego, you are never completely happy or satisfied and you end up living your life on a treadmill.

Do not fret if you are ready to get off of the treadmill and others are not. Perhaps they are simply not ready. It is not your job to fix anyone other than yourself. In fact most of us try to fix others because we are afraid to do and give ourselves that very same treatment. As you continue to grow, all of the non-believers, and people with hidden agendas will reveal themselves to you for who they truly are. The light of truth always exposes. They will either be inspired by your newfound change, or they will resent you for growing into your own beauty. Tsk.Tsk.Tsk. Either way you will be on your way to reconnecting with your original essence: being free.

As long as there is life there will always be doubters, non-believers, and pessimists. They serve as a reminder to teach us how not to live.

Peace, Blessings and a Great weekend.

M.

The Secret Law of Attraction

The power of the universe speaks at all times.

At the Bliss Blogs we sincerely believe that people are searching for a way to meaningfully connect with joy, peace, love and abundance. People want real change, connected with real meaning. Today's Oprah featured select cast members from the buzz worthy documentary "The Secret" (thesecret.tv) Executive produced by Australian Rhonda Byrne. A DVD that the Bliss Blog urges and recommends that you to make a sincere investment in.

The Secret is simply the "Law of Attraction". It means that what your conscious and unconscious mind focuses on; expands. It is simply why the Bliss Blogs encourages you to connect with what's real in your life from the inside out. For most of us, it's the unconscious mind that rules; consequently bringing more of what we claim we don't want into our lives.

If you have "The Secret." Have a party. It's that powerful.

Getting "The Secret" is one of the ways you can step into the open light of truth. It all depends on this one question:

How bad do you want change?

Introspection: Your MO With You.

The Big "O"(Oprah) states it perfectly:

"Life speaks to you in whispers. When you disregard your inner whisper, it comes to you as a warning in the form of a pebble. If you don't get that, then comes the brick. If not that, then a brick wall. After the brick wall, the entire wall will come tumbling down."

I don't know about you, but I've been hit with many bricks and crumbling,tumbling walls. Heck, I still get hit with lots of pebbles. But bricks upside your head hurt. And if you don't know by now, know that life simply just does not fall out of the sky. It is a series of thoughts and emotions that are manifested as your physical reality. Nevermind your significant other, your children, the laundry, that new reality show on VH1, tonight's dinner or the fact that the trash needs to be taken out. What is your whisper trying to tell you? What is your relationship like with you? What is your MO (Modus Operendi) ?

At the Bliss Blogs we can't imagine a day that doesn't go by where we are not personally checking in to make sure that we are attuned. To be attuned is to be in agreement with the act of introspection. Introspection is the use of your ability to trust yourself; fully. It's the ability to know the difference between your ego, and your true inner being (the whisper). It is your ability to trust that everything inside your gut is in alignment with truth. Introspection is an internal tune-up that you use to decide whether you are following the correct path for yourself in life.

Introspection is key in fulfilling your divine purpose. Are you grasping lessons that need to be learned? Or are you holding on to anger and unforgiveness? Are you in alignment with truth or are you ruled by fear? What about the people in your world? What does their reflective light say about you?

The Bliss Blogs will never suggest a quick fix solution. Choosing to heal is choosing a life journey. And when you make the choice to heal from the inside out, introspection will be your tool of choice for motivational healing. It will help you to dig out the dirt and replace it with love. It will guide you in making better choices for yourself. It will empower you to change in the now, so that your future will burn so bright that it will blind your eyes.

Your instincts. Your gut. They are good. With introspection you can learn how to rely on them whenever needed. You can begin, by simply being honest with yourself, and by releasing pent up, long held, negative emotions. And as corny as it may sound; free them to the wind. Replace with truth. You are beautiful. Too marvelous for words. A hit album waiting to be released.

With introspection you are making the choice to live powerfully. And nothing is more powerful than being free.

M.

You Put the Active in Procrastination.

The Bliss Blog has been inspired to act. We've just finished watching a six o' clock re-run of UPN 's "Girlfriends." And as it relates to The Bliss Blogs, a character by the name of "Lynn" has six master's degrees with no career prospects on the horizon and no place to live. Lynn mooches off of her apathetic friends to get by as she comes up with the necessary excuses to bide her more time to not act. The character is by far a stretch (Hey wait! some of you may know extreme cases of healthy individuals who lolly gag from day to day....)

However The Bliss Blogs will not digress.

This particular blog's mission is to dispel active procrastination. A coined term that completely puts your bliss under arrest; even taking it hostage. It's not the type of procrastination where we all have experienced those fitful moments when we're just not ready to think, begin, or complete that thing we need to do. It's a more acute form of brain freeze.

Active Procrastination:

The ability to consistently skirt around the very thing you need to do to accomplish your goals and to fulfill your purpose. The sustained resistance in following through and directly connecting to your hearts truest desires. The ability of "making the connection and journey" to your bliss complicated. The "now is not the right time syndrome." AP is a more acute type of procrastination rooted in paralyzing fear, and a strong emotional attachment to a negative outcome; namely failure.

Example.

You don't know how to swim. You want to learn so you compile a reading list of swimming books when you know you should be signing up for a beginner's swimming class. Instead you sign up for a class in beginners Latin.

Example.

You live in New York, you need to get to New Jersey, but you take the Orient Express in China to get there.

The Bliss Blog so knows of AP. Because prior to creating the Bliss Blogs, its CEO had a severe case of AP. In plain language, that would be moi (accent). I read inspirational books, worshipped my favorite authors, and found my calling. But I refused to believe that I could possibly inspire someone on how to follow their bliss through my own writing.

We'll that's all changed now, thanks in part to taking that first step in faith. The simple truth is that most people have a hard time making that connection simply because they believe that they are not worthy. At The Bliss Blogs we assure you that this simple truth is the essence of all doubt, anxiety, confusion, brain freeze, and mind rot.

Reject the idea of failure. Resist the idea that there is only one way to do something. Resist the notion that you are not good enough. How can you fail? You only can learn by trial and error; by acting. Just think of all of the people you love and admire. Read biographies, and use them as your inspiration, because they will be the first to tell you that the journey to bliss was not easy, but always worth the trip!

Remember! Act directly and accordingly! Perfection is a silly, unattainable goal.

M.

Re-invention and The Wet Mop Syndrome.

The Wet Mop Syndrome: A condition of mind rot where some people believe that person's outside of themselves are responsible for their unhappiness. Usually the wet mopper converses with other wet moppers or other sounding boards to get their endless point across. The Synonyms for wet moppers are: blamers, consistent complainers, gripers, and/or heavy procrastinators. I was most definitely a wet mopper. When I decided to tell myself the truth I asked myself the following questions?

• Do I want a life of endless could've, would've, should'ves?
• How many opportunities have I blown simply because I was not prepared for them?
• How long will I blame others for my unhappiness? A year? Five? Ten? Twenty years?
• How many years am I willing to wait before I take action?
• Will there ever be a perfect time in my life to change?
• Am I afraid that people will see me as I truly believe myself to be which is inadequate?
• Will blaming others get me what I want? Or will it keep me right where I'm at?

The Bliss Blogs are here to tell you that you could have all the reasons in the world why you can't have, do or be what you want. But when the smoke clears, and life progresses on, you will be the one who feels the rub of your inability to take responsibility for your very own gift of life. So if any of the aforementioned questions hit home for you, for starters you can begin to peel yourself away from the wet moppers. Spend less time with them. They'll wonder why you're distant. Tell them that you want to live you life fully. And if you are a wet mopper like I once was; I emphasize the need to spend time alone. Get clear, empower yourself with truth, and get in alignment with courage and optimism.

Mental Mix Tapes

There's truth and then there's conditioning. In the beginning of reclaiming your bliss it will be challenging as all get out to understand the difference between the two. Conditioning is that perpetual state of mind where we can't seem to think, act, or decide for ourselves because we've got the mental mix tapes of "should", and "how?" and "what will people think?", looped on repeat in our heads. It's that poisonous confusion that spins and locks the brain cells causing you to have the inability to know and trust what's right for you and leads you down the road of sameness and standardization. We have been conditioned on how to live outside of ourselves since we've left the crib. As a result we inject ourselves voluntarily and involuntarily with measuring sticks of how life should be lived and we've let other's voices become our own. Here are a few examples:

• You worry that you will not have, do, or be enough.
• You despise your looks in any form or fashion.
• You listen to what others say you "should" be doing with your life. As a result you can't decide for yourself what's best for you.
• You feel like a failure when you don't measure up to society's or your sister's checklist of success. i.e the perfect marriage, the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, a white knight on a horse, the perfect career, a man with a lot of money who will take care of you while you maintain the perfect weight and eat bon bons all day.
• You're keeping up with the Joneses while your sense of self and your finances plummet.
• You're working at a job that you hate because it offers security.
• You are knowingly lying to yourself about being happy.

Not to worry. At some point in our lives we all must realize that we have been configured with the "should be" chip to some degree. You might even be steaming mad right now. But it really doesn't matter who's responsible for this programming or the make believe world of unicorns. What matters is that you begin to understand that only you can remix your own mental mix tape.

Know this: Life is not about taking your size ten foot and shoving it into an seven and a half! Ouch. Living a blissful life is about being your own fit; being uniquely you. It's about feeling whole and connected. It's the knowing that you are perfect in your own perfection and that you are no accident.

Empty the trash can. Begin by unloading the lies. It does not matter whether someone told you the lies and you believed them or you created your own lies. Lies are lies and they keep us from growing into ourselves fully. Speak the truth. You hate your job. Surrender to it. That man is not a good fit for you. Feel the truth. I don't feel worthy of deep love and respect. Truth is an unshakable knowing. Nothing can disturb it. Truth is real because of how it feels. Do it with friends and loved ones. Once you've open yourself to truth it is incredibly liberating. You'll begin to see how long you have been people pleasing, and going along to get along. You will begin to breathe better, focus more clearly, and feel empowered. You'll begin to see that normal is the name of a cycle on the washing machine. Isn't that what bliss is all about? Being free to be your authentic self? Isn't that one of the life's major goals?

E-mail me at conversationsonbliss@yahoo.com

When You're Ready

Ok. You don't get it.

What's all this bliss -Oprah-Dr. Phil-Buddha baloney when you have a screwy relationship, a job you despise, not enough money for the poor (which is you!), your parents screwed up your life, you're overweight, and you can't find Mr. or Mrs. Right. You have blockage, and all you know is that you want out. You want answers, an instant remedy, a useful recipe, a potion that boils up good, a fix-it purple pill, a miracle worker, or in the very least the ability to remove the London fog from your eyes.

Right? Wrong. Wrong. All Wrong. Quick fixes are so passe. And they never give you what you need-lasting change. Yet so many of us are so hell bent on finding the easy way out elixir. Know this : It is because we are afraid of facing our pain, and of facing the essential truth that you believe that you are not worthy of the goodness of what life has to offer. It's that simple. This truth is often the root of why you can't get it together, and why you keep creating more of the drama that you claim you don't want in your life.

When you are not ready for lasting change, you will find every excuse in the book as to why you are experiencing an unfufilled life. Just in case this is not you, I'll use some of the excuses that I've used in the past:

• I don't have enough money to change.
• If I try, I will fail. Then people will laugh at me.
• I don't have what it takes to be happy.
• Why bother? Working on myself is waste of time.
• I can't work out, I have a job and I go to school.
• I'm screwed for life, because my parents didn't know how to parent.
• Only people with connections, beauty, and wealth have the right to have whatever they want.
• Blah, Blah, Blah, and Wah, Wah,Wah. You get my point.

This blog will repeatedly suggest to you that you are responsible for fixing yourself. It's a type of fixing where you are plumb responsible for curing your own aches and pains, because quite frankly, this type of lasting permanent change can only be created by you. You can beat to your own drum. Yes! You do have that much power. Most of us just don't' understand that we do have the strength, that we do have what it takes to get into alignment. There is help. There are self-help books, wholistic therapists, spiritual practices, seminars, teachers, even talk shows, and magazine articles that can inspire change. But I take extra care in saying help because I want my readers to understand that help is no substitute for creating your own meaning, molding your own truth or finding your light. I am guilty of reading that magazine article, or self-help book, and going at it alone, believing that it would cure me of my ills, of my ill-fate, of my desperation to get out of a disparaging hole. I would commit to reading that suggested book, and just as soon as I put the book down, it was back to the grind of serving myself unhappiness on a plate.

Know this: You have to be ready for change and you have to want it. How do you know when you're ready? When every excuse that you've ever had in the world simply just falls away and you choose to be willing to do anything to bring yourself into the journey of alignment. It doesn't mean that you won't be afraid. But you're willing to drop that zero, quit that unfulfilling job, lose the weight, forgive your parents, and to be free. That's when you know you're on your way.

An Open Source

Some food for thought. I am a believer in an infinite open source and as I communicate with you throughout this blog I will often refer to open source energy as The Divine or The Universe. For me, God/Spirit/Divine/Essence/ Higher Power/Universe/Buddha/ Jesus/ Jehovah/Goddess/ Isis/Oshun/Source/ Energy/ and all other unlimited expressions of spirituality are akin to a hand with five fingers or different streams that all pour into the same ocean.

Spirituality is not a theological debate. There is no right religion or wrong religion, or better god or best god. There is no right text or correct religion that you must believe at the expense of all others. No matter what your beliefs are, or what organized religion you subscribe to its all good and they all illuminate beliefs that are all a part of the same oneness. For many of my readers my fresh perspective will serve as a sign of relief; for others my insight may be a bitter pill to swallow. I even dare say; be wary of anyone who proclaims to have the one right path towards God.

Know this: your relationship with the divine is one on one. No one else is a part of that. So nix any old-school ideas of the divine that weigh you down, squash your inner knowing, or throws cold water mixed with ice cubes on your desire to connect with your bliss. What matters when using a higher power in re-connecting with your bliss is that you find your center, your nexus, your peace, your joy, your inner knowing through quiet contemplation and exploration. How can you find your inner knowing if your spirituality boxes you in making you feel guilty, shameful or even worse fearful? Be willing to create a brand new relationship with The Divine. Even if you feel totally clueless. Continue to dig down deep inside of your soul. And remember to remain open.

M.

You Must Choose

It's amazing how much you can accomplish in life by living in fear, being angry, bitter, resentful, hurt, and simply disappointed with life. Before my new found openness to the divine, I operated through life mechanically, crossing my t's and dotting my i's, thinking my way through everything; comparing and measuring my existence unfairly to those I deemed more worthy than myself. I learned how to accept mediocrity. I got through and I played it safe. But I was miserable and tired. I became angry with slow-boil resentment. After all of my hard work, my life was simply not working.

I continued to dredge through life, but my conscious mind kept tapping me on the shoulder. I wanted change, but I was paralyzed by fear. Literally frozen with "what ifs?" I kept thinking about what I didn't have and how I could'nt make it. It wasn't until I decided to take a risk on choosing to live a better life that I learned about living from the inside out. It was that simple. I had to choose.

The decision to choose risk, has surpassed my wildest expectations. I now live life more flavor fully. I laugh more. I'm less affected by stupid ish. My relationships are simply just better. I make better choices. My focus has becomes clearer. I've become way less judgemental. My eyes dance and shine. Random acts of kindness and giving have become a necessity of life for me. I am in love with life. I have tasted enough of the divine/universe/inner spirit to never go back to the old me and I've decided that it's the only way that I want to move through this world.

That's not to say that living divinely is a pair of Manolo Blaniks, a villa in Tuscany, or the perfect party dip.

I've experienced the end of what I believed were significant friendships, nasty arguments with loved ones, scathing judgements for choosing to live blissfully, betrayal, painful childhood memories that continue to creep into my psyche challenging my new found bliss, and I've had many good cries. And they keep coming. But learning how to live my truth blissfully, out loud, and on purpose, has been worth the trip. I've never been happier.

It is my wish for you to experience the kind of awakening that allows you to reclaim the peace and joy that are inherently yours. If you are reading this, it is because the universe has intended it for you. The universe makes no mistakes. I encourage you to find your opening, your pathway to truth, in your own unique way.

M.

Bliss Blockers

THE BLISS BLOCKERS.

Bliss blockers are those nasty derivatives of the ego (living outside of yourself. Acronym: looy!) that creep up and fry your brain, consequently shutting down your unlimited potential. I testify that I have fully participated in my own blockage! Read on.

1. Identifying with your ego. Many people are simply unaware of the existence of a powerful yet potentially destructive force called the ego. If you are anything like me, you will not begin to understand what ego is until you study it. But know this: Your ego is limited. Your spirit: unlimited and unbounded. It has no beginning and no end.
2. Not living in truth. Telling lies. Being lied to. Covering up lies. Telling more lies to cover up old lies. You've lied to yourself and others to the point of not being able to distinguish the truth from a lie. Lies are the foundation of bliss blocking.
3. Going at life alone. The universe works through people. Inspiring people everyday and every moment to share their strength. We are all in this together! How many not-for profits, organizations, businesses, seminars, therapeutic groups, websites and self-help books exist? Unlimited! With ego removed, asking for help should be an essential part of our lives. Please know that receiving help is not a sign of weakness or helplessness.
4. Believing that competition is real and that whatever you want is in limited supply. Identifying with the ego makes you believe that there's not enough to go around.
5. Living in the past or worrying about your future. You cannot change your past and your future has not happened yet! Why worry?! Focus on what you want.
6. Using the words or phrases "Maybe, Someday, One Day, Trying, Hopefully, I'm not sure, I don't want, and No" more often than necessary. These words carry a vibration of "stuckness." Yew!
7. "Using other people's lives as a measuring stick for your own worth. Coveting someone else's perceived possessions is an energy killer and keeps you from uncovering the remarkable being that is you.
8. Believing that you know it all and having the need to be right! Life is a continual process of growth and lessons learned. The more open you are to life the quicker the lessons are learned.
9. "Shoulding" on people. Being judgemental. Who on this green earth is perfect? We forget that people are human beings prone to error. That's including me and including you.
10. Your life is a hot mess of disorder and chaos. Shame and fear are the culprits. As part of a new beginning, clean out your wallet, your finances, dresser drawer, and sweep up the skeleton bones.

Spotlight Bliss Philosophy

Spotlight on Bliss Philosophy:

1. Know that you deserve to be in a continuous state of joy and happiness.
2. Know that you are worthy of life and everything that life has to offer-just because you were born.
3. You have the power to choose at all times. Authetic living is not on automatic pilot or lived by default (your life is not an accident!)
4. Remain in a state of forgiveness. Forgive others, then forgive self. When you live in a state of being unforgiving, you are poisoning yourself.
5. Life is more purposeful and magical than you give it credit for. Life is a big present wrapped in a shiny red bow! However, how you view life is how you will experience it.
6. Express gratitude! Be thankful for what you have, no matter how big or small. The fact that you have the ability to read this post is something to be thankful for. When you express gratitude, more goodness comes into your life.
7. What you believe on the inside will manifest itself on the outside. Your thoughts are that powerful.
8. Remain Open to the Unknown. Being judgemental, close minded, narrow minded, or arrogant will keep you in a self-made prison of non-expansion.
9. Let go of the need to be right.
10. You are not your ego. You are not your possessions, your status, titles, or your labels. Your ego convinces you to live outside of yourself and to define yourself as others see you. This fact alone is responsible for the epidemic of unhappiness that the world is experiencing today. You are your spirit, a soul, your being, God consciousness.
11. You are not your past. You are your possibilities.
12. Stop taking yourself so seriously! Perfection is a silly unattainable goal. A laugh and a smile are there to remind you that life's experiences are filled with lessons on living.
13. Stop thinking and doing. You are a human being, not a human doing. Live in the moment.
14. Enjoying your own company is one thing...but doing everything alone is not feasible, nor is it fun. Life is about establishing meaningful relationships and connections.
15. Take Risks! You must take risks to find your bliss! Be Bold and Daring.
16. Be kind, loving, and gentle to yourself. Thou shall not "should" on thyself.
17. It is not acceptable to be a spectator in life. We enjoy life fully when we participate in it.
18. It serves no purpose to shrink yourself for others or to live small.
19. Your inner voice, inner knowing, intuition, are all good, all the time. Learn how to trust it.
20. Live truth. Speak it. Hear it. See it. Feel it. You know truth by the way it resonates with you.

These are the quintessential creeds I live by. They help me to create inner peace as well keep me on the high road of following my own blissful path. Some of them may feel like deja vu resonating strong, others may have you thinking that you have a long way to go. Do not worry. Developing and living by your own personal creed takes time to develop. But it's time well spent.

Have any questions about any of the aforementioned BP(Bliss Philosophies?) E-mail me at conversationsonbliss@yahoo.com

M.

Feel Good About Your Life.

Cookie Cutter. Fake. Unreal. Inauthentic. UnOriginal.

Words that no one earth would like to be described as. Yet, we spend most of our lives trying to fit into the mythical perfection mold of wagging fingers. We use society as a measuring stick for our personal success, unfairly comparing and measuring ourselves to what has been deemed "better or more important than." As a result we're afraid as all hell to be authentic, or at the very least to be our true selves. I know. This is not you. Never has been. But for most of us, we find it challenging to not be a part of the mold. The time is now to live a more profound life! Spotlight on Bliss was established by me, not only because I've achingly been there ( and I am not far removed), but also to remind people (as well as myself) that it is their duty to live their bliss. No gimmicks here. I in no way profess to have all the answers. But I know I am blissfully on purpose in offering distinct, honest, passionate and provocative ideas in helping people reclaim their zing, i.e original essence. I share with you my successes and failures on finding bliss and I welcome you. I'm excited to hear your suggestions, opinions and pundits on the essence of being dutifully happy. After all, we do not find the meaning of life by ourselves-we find it with one another. To being real. M.