Going Along to Get Along...

Now the reason why I know these emotions so well is because I lived them for the better part of my life. I was raised in a poor, black (dark-skinned), dysfunctional, with an angry as all hell non-communicative single parent. I envied and resented light-skinned women, two parent homes, flat tummies, the rich, people who appeared to have more than me, models, and everything that the trifecta of cable, magazine, and movies (along with poor parenting skills) can serve up to create some really pitiful low self-esteem.

It held me back. For a long time. And I for the life of me couldn't figure out why I was so stuck in this cycle of negative thinking. I didn't realize that I went along with the game plan of feeling inferior and unworthy.

Some suggestions....

Resentment is the stuff that wildly successful gossip blogs, tabloid rags, and the Joan Rivers and Wendy William's of the world are made of. It's wanting to see the rich and famous tumble down to the cold cold world of struggle and strife.

Now the reason why I know these emotions so well is because I lived them for the better part of my life. I was raised in a poor, black (dark-skinned), dysfunctional, with an angry as all hell non-communicative single parent. I envied and resented light-skinned women, two parent homes, flat tummies, the rich, people who appeared to have more than me, models, and everything that the trifecta of cable, magazine, and movies (along with poor parenting skills) can serve up to create some really pitiful low self-esteem.

It held me back. For a long time. And I for the life of me couldn't figure out why I was so stuck in this cycle of negative thinking. I didn't realize that I went along with the game plan of feeling inferior and unworthy. I cosigned my life on a bad check; I believed the hype.

So you're probably wondering: " How do I get out of this emotional tug of war? How can I get my thinking out of the status quo? When I'm feeling envious or resentful these are the words of wisdom that I use to return to myself:

• Whatever it is that you want; create a plan of action. Make adjustments but stick to your plan.
  
• Tell yourself that you're worthy of all of the good things that life has to offer and believe that you can have it.
  
• Stop comparing and measuring yourself to society's standards. You'll never measure up if you use society as a measuring stick. Instead create your own measuring stick of success.
• If you find that people are indeed happy; be happy for them. Use their happiness as inspiration for your own life. It doesn't help you or your karma by being envious.
• If you can, limit or elimate television; it's a time and dream killer and encourages you to live passively. We all want to be entertained from time to time, but investing countless hours in watching someone else live out their dreams simply doesn't make sense to me. Is that the kind of life you want?

That thing called resentment....

There's envy, there's jealousy, and then there's resentment. And they all ask the questions: "How do I measure up?" and "Am I worthy?"

Envy is the fixation on what someone else has and deeming it better than. Envy is the result of habitual comparative thinking.

Jealousy is the act of being in a "envious state" and is a one two punch of envy and insecurity. Jealousy is connected with poor self worth and can be combined with revenge, vindictiveness and malice.

Resentment is the belief that you are unlucky in life and that others have it easier. Resentment is a perpetual belief system that builds and gains momentum over a significant period of time and is a dangerous emotional cocktail of anger, envy, jealousy, petty thinking, feelings of being inferior, frustration, and bitterness.

Older but not wiser....

Let's face it...you can't stop father time and we all have to grow old. But for some reason we all think getting older only happens to "older people."

Well growing older happens to everyone every minute of the day because time waits for no one. No one's exempt; not even Dick Clark! And with the passage of time should come wisdom, maturity and expansion. We fret because we wish we knew what we know now at eighteen. Many of us have a challenging time simply learning from our mistakes and moving forward. Moving forward just like time. Instead we self-punish and box ourselves into the smallest of cubes. We say things like "one day" and "someday" not realizing that time is passing by the very moment we repeat those dead end words.

Live today! Be in the now and live for the present! Chase your happiness because it will not fall into your lap. We will not all die at the age of 98 peacefully in our sleep with our Social Security checks clutched to our hands! That's not living or happiness that 's called fear.

A minute

For now on my posts will be short and sweet. As a new blogger I realized that I came out blazing with spiritual thought a little too heavy handed. Understandably so; because it's my passion. But I also understand that living life from a spiritual frame can be a confusing, intimidating transition. It's even much more difficult to actually committ to this transition. Most of us want to know...what's in it for us...? Or we wait for a calamity to happen to crawl on our hands and knees and beg our source to take the pain away. Then we get angry because it seems that quick fix prayer doesn't work.

So from now on I will offer tidbits on how to slowly but surely create a life that can be experienced from a spiritual lens without seeming so "holy roller",unreachable or intangible.

The goal is to live a full life. And connecting to your source on the continuum will be the only way to ensure the peace of mind, the living present, the living joyfully, and the living abundantly all human beings desire.

The food for thought I give you today is to ask yourself "Am I present?"

M.

The Power of Perception.

At the Bliss Blogs we are about to open a can of worms on perspective and perception. It will sound a little crazy; but once you understand the power of your perception, you will be completely free to believe in all of your possibilities.

How far back can you remember? At the age of two, five or later? How about six months old? How about yesterday? Whatever you think your earliest beginning's are is not who you are. Who you are is not who you think you are if you define yourself in terms of your experiences. But the rub is that you are what you think you are. So if you think you're dumb then that's what you'll experience. If you think you're amazing then that's what you'll experience. If you believe that you are T and A then you will experience the world in very sexual terms.

That is the power of perception.

The power of perception rests on the idea that what you think is real isn't really real, but you're perceived reality. It's like when two people have very different ideas on beauty standards; neither perspective is better than the other because it's all about perception. This is the way life works. You're life will manifest itself according to your perspective and your perception.

Having perspective and perception are an intricate part of self-awareness. It is these very two ideas that can make or break your human experience. Often we think and consequently believe that who we are is a combination of the experiences that we've encountered in our past. We define ourselves by our family income, hereditary features, physical and emotional abuse, our communities, our churches, but the essential truth is that is not who you are.

We'll you make be asking yourself: "Well who the hell am I?" The Bliss Blogs will give you the short and the long. The short: You are truth and light. The long: whatever magnificent list of adjectives you can use to describe yourself.

Who you are is not where you've been. You are not your past; you are your possibilities. Think about that statement. You are your possibilities. It means that you have the power to create in the now whatever you hope to experience in the future. Many of us make the mistake of defining ourselves by our limiting, debilitating experiences from the past. What we end up doing is repeating more of the same in the future because we continually define ourselves from the old mental mix tapes.

The solution is to live in the now and to forgive. The past can be used as your tool for valuable life lessons; not a tool for self-defining truth. Nix all blame-shifting and whoa is me, and put into practice removing all labels you've attached to yourself: fat, dumb, skinny, lazy, crazy, stupid, useless, and worthless. You are love in motion, and you're life will be unbelievable once you realize this essential truth.

Commentary on Crying

I used to scoff at the idea of crying. As with many people today, I felt that crying was a sign of weakness; in certain situations crying even offended me. I held this standard for men and women; especially today's independant woman; one whom of which I considered myself to be. Crying over a relationship; even worse. Secretly, I judged people who cried and dismissed them as needing to get a grip.

Harsh perspective indeed. I didn't know it then, but I was so disconnected from love. It was my mental reasoning that crying would show the world that I wasn't tough; and I needed to be perceived as tough so that could show the world that I did not need love. I was ailing, angry and self-destructive. Let me add unforgiving and judgemental. The building of this protective shield was all that I needed to ensure that I would never experience anything good.

This may not be the case for you, but in retrospect, my inability to cry (or want to cry) was a response to childhood abandonement and rejection. No, I wasn't dropped off in a paper bag on anyone's doorstep. I grew up in a home where I've never seen my single mother cry. We struggled daily as a family on all levels, but somehow my mother's inability to connect with her emotions injected and shaped who I became: a woman who could only count on her perceived toughness to survive.

Crying is the emotional release of the daily wear and tear of living and it is one of the most amazing gifts we can give to ourselves in terms of self- healing. When you cry you declare to the body, mind and spirit that you have the right to release what is being held inside. You are acknowleging to your spirit that you have the right to feel good and that you are being obedient to your heart by self-cleansing it so that it can function properly.

Now. Whenever I feel sad, or joyous or feel any emotion that makes me overflow with love; I release it. And I release it as often as my spirit will allow. This is not blubbering, sobbing, desperation, or wanting sympathy; its simply not about "the act" of crying. It's about the release of negative emotions that prevent us from keeping in tune with what is going on inside of us. Think: emotional sound check.

This might sound corny but think of how brightly the sun shines after stormy weather. The tears that we shed are preparation for the gratitude of life's goodness. We need the rainy days to appreciate the sunny ones. Crying is not a sign of weakness; it is having the willingness to let go of past hurts. Those past hurts could have been eons ago or five minutes ago. Crying makes you feel five years younger, keeps your spirits fresh and revived, and keeps the mechanism known as your heart pulsating with love and forgiveness.

The release of your tears removes blockage. And with less blockage the path to living blissfully becomes easier.