Transform Your Anger and Ordinary Thinking.

I will be the first to tell you that the word "meditation" was a word that I simply resisted. What came to mind for me was "a waste of valuable time", "what for?", "I can't do that", "How's that going to help me?", " Will it make my problems go away?", "Will it bring me money?" and of course continuous loads of cynicism: "If meditation is so great (oh swami!) then why do we still experience poverty, death, misery and sickness?"

More importantly, meditation sounded like more of the same of so called spiritual hocus pocus that I simply believed was a ploy to help me forget how hard I had to work to get the things that I wanted out of life. I judged meditation as another distraction and another mental tool to help me forget how unlucky I believed I was. I mean...why should I breathe and make a connection to an energy that has failed me, angered me, abandoned me. I in essence, was very angry with my source.

But when you change; the things you look at change. I couldn't see at the time how angry I was. In my mind, anger meant some kind of unruly vigilante. A person who wrecks havoc and causes hell, wrath and fury. Surely that wasn't me. But my, how clever the ego is! My anger was more in alignment with self-loathing, negative self-chatter, and the belief that I simply was not good enough. I had the "woe is me" journals. I've read tons of self-help books that I actually ended up resenting because I believed they all said the same thing. I was so identified with my ego and negative thinking that I couldn't get past my ordinary thinking. At the time, my world was the physical surroundings of my apartment, my education, my body, my hair, my clothes, and my perceived failures. I wanted to be in control because my ego told me that I could not rely on God.

But there's something about surrendering that's so powerful. When you choose to open the inner door to the world of spiritual connection; surrendering is the do good force to feeling on purpose and feeling good. You surrender when realize that everything that you've tried to force fit, or forcefully make happen, simply does not lead to personal happiness. When you surrender, you are ready to trust in the idea of something bigger than yourself.

Often throughout this blog I have recommend that you remain open. Many of you have responded with "How?" "How do I let go?" or "something will go terribly wrong for me if I relinquish control!" Aha! This is where your trust and your faith are best put to use. You simply cannot intellectualize forgiveness, surrender, faith, or trust. They are not college subjects in which you earn a grade. You have to feel surrender. You have to feel forgiveness. You have to feel trust. How do you create the feeling? By aligning your thoughts with positive affirmations, prayer, and by understanding the power of intention and meditation.

In the next blog I will discuss how meditation is a vital part of sustaining your connection to your spirit. The breath is one of the most amazing gifts that the universe has given us to connect us to unlimited power. Meditation transforms your ordinary thinking.