Re-invention and The Wet Mop Syndrome.

The Wet Mop Syndrome: A condition of mind rot where some people believe that person's outside of themselves are responsible for their unhappiness. Usually the wet mopper converses with other wet moppers or other sounding boards to get their endless point across. The Synonyms for wet moppers are: blamers, consistent complainers, gripers, and/or heavy procrastinators. I was most definitely a wet mopper. When I decided to tell myself the truth I asked myself the following questions?

• Do I want a life of endless could've, would've, should'ves?
• How many opportunities have I blown simply because I was not prepared for them?
• How long will I blame others for my unhappiness? A year? Five? Ten? Twenty years?
• How many years am I willing to wait before I take action?
• Will there ever be a perfect time in my life to change?
• Am I afraid that people will see me as I truly believe myself to be which is inadequate?
• Will blaming others get me what I want? Or will it keep me right where I'm at?

The Bliss Blogs are here to tell you that you could have all the reasons in the world why you can't have, do or be what you want. But when the smoke clears, and life progresses on, you will be the one who feels the rub of your inability to take responsibility for your very own gift of life. So if any of the aforementioned questions hit home for you, for starters you can begin to peel yourself away from the wet moppers. Spend less time with them. They'll wonder why you're distant. Tell them that you want to live you life fully. And if you are a wet mopper like I once was; I emphasize the need to spend time alone. Get clear, empower yourself with truth, and get in alignment with courage and optimism.

Mental Mix Tapes

There's truth and then there's conditioning. In the beginning of reclaiming your bliss it will be challenging as all get out to understand the difference between the two. Conditioning is that perpetual state of mind where we can't seem to think, act, or decide for ourselves because we've got the mental mix tapes of "should", and "how?" and "what will people think?", looped on repeat in our heads. It's that poisonous confusion that spins and locks the brain cells causing you to have the inability to know and trust what's right for you and leads you down the road of sameness and standardization. We have been conditioned on how to live outside of ourselves since we've left the crib. As a result we inject ourselves voluntarily and involuntarily with measuring sticks of how life should be lived and we've let other's voices become our own. Here are a few examples:

• You worry that you will not have, do, or be enough.
• You despise your looks in any form or fashion.
• You listen to what others say you "should" be doing with your life. As a result you can't decide for yourself what's best for you.
• You feel like a failure when you don't measure up to society's or your sister's checklist of success. i.e the perfect marriage, the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, a white knight on a horse, the perfect career, a man with a lot of money who will take care of you while you maintain the perfect weight and eat bon bons all day.
• You're keeping up with the Joneses while your sense of self and your finances plummet.
• You're working at a job that you hate because it offers security.
• You are knowingly lying to yourself about being happy.

Not to worry. At some point in our lives we all must realize that we have been configured with the "should be" chip to some degree. You might even be steaming mad right now. But it really doesn't matter who's responsible for this programming or the make believe world of unicorns. What matters is that you begin to understand that only you can remix your own mental mix tape.

Know this: Life is not about taking your size ten foot and shoving it into an seven and a half! Ouch. Living a blissful life is about being your own fit; being uniquely you. It's about feeling whole and connected. It's the knowing that you are perfect in your own perfection and that you are no accident.

Empty the trash can. Begin by unloading the lies. It does not matter whether someone told you the lies and you believed them or you created your own lies. Lies are lies and they keep us from growing into ourselves fully. Speak the truth. You hate your job. Surrender to it. That man is not a good fit for you. Feel the truth. I don't feel worthy of deep love and respect. Truth is an unshakable knowing. Nothing can disturb it. Truth is real because of how it feels. Do it with friends and loved ones. Once you've open yourself to truth it is incredibly liberating. You'll begin to see how long you have been people pleasing, and going along to get along. You will begin to breathe better, focus more clearly, and feel empowered. You'll begin to see that normal is the name of a cycle on the washing machine. Isn't that what bliss is all about? Being free to be your authentic self? Isn't that one of the life's major goals?

E-mail me at conversationsonbliss@yahoo.com

When You're Ready

Ok. You don't get it.

What's all this bliss -Oprah-Dr. Phil-Buddha baloney when you have a screwy relationship, a job you despise, not enough money for the poor (which is you!), your parents screwed up your life, you're overweight, and you can't find Mr. or Mrs. Right. You have blockage, and all you know is that you want out. You want answers, an instant remedy, a useful recipe, a potion that boils up good, a fix-it purple pill, a miracle worker, or in the very least the ability to remove the London fog from your eyes.

Right? Wrong. Wrong. All Wrong. Quick fixes are so passe. And they never give you what you need-lasting change. Yet so many of us are so hell bent on finding the easy way out elixir. Know this : It is because we are afraid of facing our pain, and of facing the essential truth that you believe that you are not worthy of the goodness of what life has to offer. It's that simple. This truth is often the root of why you can't get it together, and why you keep creating more of the drama that you claim you don't want in your life.

When you are not ready for lasting change, you will find every excuse in the book as to why you are experiencing an unfufilled life. Just in case this is not you, I'll use some of the excuses that I've used in the past:

• I don't have enough money to change.
• If I try, I will fail. Then people will laugh at me.
• I don't have what it takes to be happy.
• Why bother? Working on myself is waste of time.
• I can't work out, I have a job and I go to school.
• I'm screwed for life, because my parents didn't know how to parent.
• Only people with connections, beauty, and wealth have the right to have whatever they want.
• Blah, Blah, Blah, and Wah, Wah,Wah. You get my point.

This blog will repeatedly suggest to you that you are responsible for fixing yourself. It's a type of fixing where you are plumb responsible for curing your own aches and pains, because quite frankly, this type of lasting permanent change can only be created by you. You can beat to your own drum. Yes! You do have that much power. Most of us just don't' understand that we do have the strength, that we do have what it takes to get into alignment. There is help. There are self-help books, wholistic therapists, spiritual practices, seminars, teachers, even talk shows, and magazine articles that can inspire change. But I take extra care in saying help because I want my readers to understand that help is no substitute for creating your own meaning, molding your own truth or finding your light. I am guilty of reading that magazine article, or self-help book, and going at it alone, believing that it would cure me of my ills, of my ill-fate, of my desperation to get out of a disparaging hole. I would commit to reading that suggested book, and just as soon as I put the book down, it was back to the grind of serving myself unhappiness on a plate.

Know this: You have to be ready for change and you have to want it. How do you know when you're ready? When every excuse that you've ever had in the world simply just falls away and you choose to be willing to do anything to bring yourself into the journey of alignment. It doesn't mean that you won't be afraid. But you're willing to drop that zero, quit that unfulfilling job, lose the weight, forgive your parents, and to be free. That's when you know you're on your way.

An Open Source

Some food for thought. I am a believer in an infinite open source and as I communicate with you throughout this blog I will often refer to open source energy as The Divine or The Universe. For me, God/Spirit/Divine/Essence/ Higher Power/Universe/Buddha/ Jesus/ Jehovah/Goddess/ Isis/Oshun/Source/ Energy/ and all other unlimited expressions of spirituality are akin to a hand with five fingers or different streams that all pour into the same ocean.

Spirituality is not a theological debate. There is no right religion or wrong religion, or better god or best god. There is no right text or correct religion that you must believe at the expense of all others. No matter what your beliefs are, or what organized religion you subscribe to its all good and they all illuminate beliefs that are all a part of the same oneness. For many of my readers my fresh perspective will serve as a sign of relief; for others my insight may be a bitter pill to swallow. I even dare say; be wary of anyone who proclaims to have the one right path towards God.

Know this: your relationship with the divine is one on one. No one else is a part of that. So nix any old-school ideas of the divine that weigh you down, squash your inner knowing, or throws cold water mixed with ice cubes on your desire to connect with your bliss. What matters when using a higher power in re-connecting with your bliss is that you find your center, your nexus, your peace, your joy, your inner knowing through quiet contemplation and exploration. How can you find your inner knowing if your spirituality boxes you in making you feel guilty, shameful or even worse fearful? Be willing to create a brand new relationship with The Divine. Even if you feel totally clueless. Continue to dig down deep inside of your soul. And remember to remain open.

M.

You Must Choose

It's amazing how much you can accomplish in life by living in fear, being angry, bitter, resentful, hurt, and simply disappointed with life. Before my new found openness to the divine, I operated through life mechanically, crossing my t's and dotting my i's, thinking my way through everything; comparing and measuring my existence unfairly to those I deemed more worthy than myself. I learned how to accept mediocrity. I got through and I played it safe. But I was miserable and tired. I became angry with slow-boil resentment. After all of my hard work, my life was simply not working.

I continued to dredge through life, but my conscious mind kept tapping me on the shoulder. I wanted change, but I was paralyzed by fear. Literally frozen with "what ifs?" I kept thinking about what I didn't have and how I could'nt make it. It wasn't until I decided to take a risk on choosing to live a better life that I learned about living from the inside out. It was that simple. I had to choose.

The decision to choose risk, has surpassed my wildest expectations. I now live life more flavor fully. I laugh more. I'm less affected by stupid ish. My relationships are simply just better. I make better choices. My focus has becomes clearer. I've become way less judgemental. My eyes dance and shine. Random acts of kindness and giving have become a necessity of life for me. I am in love with life. I have tasted enough of the divine/universe/inner spirit to never go back to the old me and I've decided that it's the only way that I want to move through this world.

That's not to say that living divinely is a pair of Manolo Blaniks, a villa in Tuscany, or the perfect party dip.

I've experienced the end of what I believed were significant friendships, nasty arguments with loved ones, scathing judgements for choosing to live blissfully, betrayal, painful childhood memories that continue to creep into my psyche challenging my new found bliss, and I've had many good cries. And they keep coming. But learning how to live my truth blissfully, out loud, and on purpose, has been worth the trip. I've never been happier.

It is my wish for you to experience the kind of awakening that allows you to reclaim the peace and joy that are inherently yours. If you are reading this, it is because the universe has intended it for you. The universe makes no mistakes. I encourage you to find your opening, your pathway to truth, in your own unique way.

M.

Bliss Blockers

THE BLISS BLOCKERS.

Bliss blockers are those nasty derivatives of the ego (living outside of yourself. Acronym: looy!) that creep up and fry your brain, consequently shutting down your unlimited potential. I testify that I have fully participated in my own blockage! Read on.

1. Identifying with your ego. Many people are simply unaware of the existence of a powerful yet potentially destructive force called the ego. If you are anything like me, you will not begin to understand what ego is until you study it. But know this: Your ego is limited. Your spirit: unlimited and unbounded. It has no beginning and no end.
2. Not living in truth. Telling lies. Being lied to. Covering up lies. Telling more lies to cover up old lies. You've lied to yourself and others to the point of not being able to distinguish the truth from a lie. Lies are the foundation of bliss blocking.
3. Going at life alone. The universe works through people. Inspiring people everyday and every moment to share their strength. We are all in this together! How many not-for profits, organizations, businesses, seminars, therapeutic groups, websites and self-help books exist? Unlimited! With ego removed, asking for help should be an essential part of our lives. Please know that receiving help is not a sign of weakness or helplessness.
4. Believing that competition is real and that whatever you want is in limited supply. Identifying with the ego makes you believe that there's not enough to go around.
5. Living in the past or worrying about your future. You cannot change your past and your future has not happened yet! Why worry?! Focus on what you want.
6. Using the words or phrases "Maybe, Someday, One Day, Trying, Hopefully, I'm not sure, I don't want, and No" more often than necessary. These words carry a vibration of "stuckness." Yew!
7. "Using other people's lives as a measuring stick for your own worth. Coveting someone else's perceived possessions is an energy killer and keeps you from uncovering the remarkable being that is you.
8. Believing that you know it all and having the need to be right! Life is a continual process of growth and lessons learned. The more open you are to life the quicker the lessons are learned.
9. "Shoulding" on people. Being judgemental. Who on this green earth is perfect? We forget that people are human beings prone to error. That's including me and including you.
10. Your life is a hot mess of disorder and chaos. Shame and fear are the culprits. As part of a new beginning, clean out your wallet, your finances, dresser drawer, and sweep up the skeleton bones.

Spotlight Bliss Philosophy

Spotlight on Bliss Philosophy:

1. Know that you deserve to be in a continuous state of joy and happiness.
2. Know that you are worthy of life and everything that life has to offer-just because you were born.
3. You have the power to choose at all times. Authetic living is not on automatic pilot or lived by default (your life is not an accident!)
4. Remain in a state of forgiveness. Forgive others, then forgive self. When you live in a state of being unforgiving, you are poisoning yourself.
5. Life is more purposeful and magical than you give it credit for. Life is a big present wrapped in a shiny red bow! However, how you view life is how you will experience it.
6. Express gratitude! Be thankful for what you have, no matter how big or small. The fact that you have the ability to read this post is something to be thankful for. When you express gratitude, more goodness comes into your life.
7. What you believe on the inside will manifest itself on the outside. Your thoughts are that powerful.
8. Remain Open to the Unknown. Being judgemental, close minded, narrow minded, or arrogant will keep you in a self-made prison of non-expansion.
9. Let go of the need to be right.
10. You are not your ego. You are not your possessions, your status, titles, or your labels. Your ego convinces you to live outside of yourself and to define yourself as others see you. This fact alone is responsible for the epidemic of unhappiness that the world is experiencing today. You are your spirit, a soul, your being, God consciousness.
11. You are not your past. You are your possibilities.
12. Stop taking yourself so seriously! Perfection is a silly unattainable goal. A laugh and a smile are there to remind you that life's experiences are filled with lessons on living.
13. Stop thinking and doing. You are a human being, not a human doing. Live in the moment.
14. Enjoying your own company is one thing...but doing everything alone is not feasible, nor is it fun. Life is about establishing meaningful relationships and connections.
15. Take Risks! You must take risks to find your bliss! Be Bold and Daring.
16. Be kind, loving, and gentle to yourself. Thou shall not "should" on thyself.
17. It is not acceptable to be a spectator in life. We enjoy life fully when we participate in it.
18. It serves no purpose to shrink yourself for others or to live small.
19. Your inner voice, inner knowing, intuition, are all good, all the time. Learn how to trust it.
20. Live truth. Speak it. Hear it. See it. Feel it. You know truth by the way it resonates with you.

These are the quintessential creeds I live by. They help me to create inner peace as well keep me on the high road of following my own blissful path. Some of them may feel like deja vu resonating strong, others may have you thinking that you have a long way to go. Do not worry. Developing and living by your own personal creed takes time to develop. But it's time well spent.

Have any questions about any of the aforementioned BP(Bliss Philosophies?) E-mail me at conversationsonbliss@yahoo.com

M.

Feel Good About Your Life.

Cookie Cutter. Fake. Unreal. Inauthentic. UnOriginal.

Words that no one earth would like to be described as. Yet, we spend most of our lives trying to fit into the mythical perfection mold of wagging fingers. We use society as a measuring stick for our personal success, unfairly comparing and measuring ourselves to what has been deemed "better or more important than." As a result we're afraid as all hell to be authentic, or at the very least to be our true selves. I know. This is not you. Never has been. But for most of us, we find it challenging to not be a part of the mold. The time is now to live a more profound life! Spotlight on Bliss was established by me, not only because I've achingly been there ( and I am not far removed), but also to remind people (as well as myself) that it is their duty to live their bliss. No gimmicks here. I in no way profess to have all the answers. But I know I am blissfully on purpose in offering distinct, honest, passionate and provocative ideas in helping people reclaim their zing, i.e original essence. I share with you my successes and failures on finding bliss and I welcome you. I'm excited to hear your suggestions, opinions and pundits on the essence of being dutifully happy. After all, we do not find the meaning of life by ourselves-we find it with one another. To being real. M.